Two Years Later: The Astonishing Effects of Leaving Facebook and Instagram on My Personal Styling Business

As a personal stylist, my primary goal is to help every woman in my community have the knowledge and confidence to communicate her authentic personal style with pieces that flatter her frame and communicate her values. For over a decade, I’ve done this by offering up a framework for harnessing your unique personal style. Of course, an essential component to my work is illustrating my aesthetic. This is integral to growing my community and client base. After all, who wants to work with a stylist who doesn’t share your taste?

And what better way to share my point of view than with social media? In the first six years of my business (2013-2019), Facebook was a key component of my outreach efforts. I used it to grow my email list, promote blog posts and offer giveaways. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to market directly to my ideal client thanks to Facebook ads. I selected her gender, age, location and other brands she followed. Being a stylist based in Seattle, Nordstrom is the go-to for the majority of women here, so marketing directly to women who followed Nordstrom on Facebook was a no-brainer.

Truthfully, I only used the ads a few times because word of mouth was working well for me and, frankly, I felt a little uneasy about the whole process. Then I moved on.

When Instagram popped up, it was the ideal medium to highlight my activities, showcase local brands and boutiques and discover new makers. It was a lot more appealing to me than Facebook and by that point and I had cornered the market on #personalstylistSeattle without spending a dime.

But as the years went by, I became more and more concerned about the effects of social media on society. When the Cambridge Analytica scandal broke, I started to realize that the average person in my world had not considered the amount of data that Facebook was accumulating about them. My ability to perfectly target my ideal customer thanks to Facebook ads suddenly seemed a little shady. Certainly, targeted ads are a given but in light of Cambridge Analytica, things seemed different. I mean, of course an individual knew that following Nordstrom, sharing her age and favorite hobbies was public. Right? But had it ever occurred to her that this information would be shared with advertisers? I don’t know. Is it wrong? I don’t know that either. Targeted ads do make life easier. How awesome is it for the internet to shop for me without me having to do a thing? But what happens when information is shared when we don’t want it to be or with folks we’d rather not share it with?

I started marinating on all of this and was less and less enthusiastic about Facebook and Instagram. In the early years, my business was also on Twitter. Though I never really got into it, I typically shared the same content I was sharing on the other networks in an effort to get the business out there. It served me well when I was featured in a Microsoft Office ad campaign, a huge boon for my business. If I hadn’t been on Twitter, I would not have been featured.

But, when Donald Trump was elected president, I left Twitter.

I wasn’t a fan of the new normal of allowing our elected leaders to communicate in 140 characters rather than being held accountable in interviews or press conferences. To me, being on the platform signaled my support for the company’s approach and I felt complicit in it. So, I left.

I’ll stop here to say it had literally no impact on anyone that I left Twitter. I doubt anyone noticed. That being said, I knew that doing so meant that I might miss a future opportunity, like the Microsoft campaign, that was so beneficial to the business. At the time, I concluded that making that decision was worth the risk.

So as the years went on and Facebook’s behavior became more and more concerning to me, I already had experience leaving a platform. Sure, leaving Twitter wasn’t a huge shift like leaving Facebook and Instagram would be. But, it was something. And when my concerns started piling up, I knew leaving social media (except for LinkedIn and Pinterest, two sites that were not complicit in the way that Facebook and Instagram were) was becoming more inevitable.

Guest Post: Tips for Taking Top Shelf Selfies

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I get an endless number of requests to write guest blog posts. Truly. So. Many. Requests.

I take our relationship very seriously, Dear Reader. You trust me with your time and my commitment is to give you quality content that helps you transform your authentic personal style and feel good about getting dressed everyday. I like to write those myself.

Simultaneously, I absolutely LOVE connecting you with other amazing folks. It’s great for you, great for them and frankly, makes my heart swell, too. You can find several of these guest posts in the In It Together Series that we launched in early lockdown.

One of my clients asked me for tips on taking a great selfie and I immediately knew who to ask. My friend and branding photographer, Suzanne Rothmeyer, generously agreed to share her tips and tricks and they exceeded my expectations. Let’s face it. We all need this skill. I expect you’ll be bookmarking this one- or pin it on Pinterest! Have fun with it and as always, let me know what you think. -Mellicia

5 Easy Ways to Transform Your Closet and Your Life Right Now

I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely determined to have a great 2024. If not great, at least not awful and thanks to the election in November, I know the second option is very real. As a personal stylist for women, I see firsthand the impact that a fresh perspective can have on clients. For me, a space free of clutter with only pieces that are beautiful and functional has an extraordinary impact on my life. Really. And I bet you feel that way, too.

I also know that with the New Year comes new motivation and new expectations. We want to do it all: change our food habits, move more, volunteer and so on. Often by week two we discovered we were overly ambitious. With that in mind, this post isn’t how to do an exhaustive Closet Edit. Though trust me, I’m here for that! Instead, we’re focusing on five easy steps that will have a disproportionate effect on your life. Less effort and more payoff. Here we go!

Forget Panic Shopping: Get the Perfect Last-Minute Gift Now

An essential component of being a personal stylist is listening. It’s vital that I really see my client then we create a strategy to harness her authentic personal style using that information. Buying the perfect gift takes the same skill. It can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t need to. Really, it’s about paying attention to the recipient AND having a list of potential gifts so that you can match his/her/ their desires with something you can deliver.

As someone who takes a lot of pride in my gifting abilities, I can assure you that giving the right gift feels SO good for the both the recipient AND the giver. So, let’s give you some ideas, shall we?

My Favorite Things Right Now

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I spend a very high percentage of my time with women. One of the benefits of this lifestyle is the constant trading of resources. We’re always sharing books, shows, products and more with one another. Regularly referred to as, “Idea Girl” in my family, offering resources and solutions is one of my very favorite things to do. I also LOVE learning about new options. This personality trait brings us to one of my periodic blog post themes: My Favorite Things Right Now. Here we go!

10 Brands, Retailers and Causes: Shop Your Values & Maximize the Impact Now

As a personal stylist for women and evangelist for all things that excite me, making the periodic lists of My Favorite Things is one of my great joys. This one, in particular, is focused on brands and retailers that are not only exciting for their visual design but also because of the values that each brand and/or retailer supports. Ideally, all of our purchases are aligned with our values. For some, those are a willingness to spend more in order to support up and coming designers or those who pay people a living wage. Others prefer sustainable brands that limit materials to biodegradable items, those that take up fewer resources or choices that reuse existing items. And for others, brands that align with her values may mean finding the best deal which leaves more of the budget for other items. My role is not to impart my values on anyone else.

Above all, I teach each of my personal styling clients to shop using clear filters: body type, personal style key words, color palette, lifestyle and when possible, values. So, keep those in mind when you dive into this list of my very favorite brands and retailers right now. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

My Fashion Inspirations and More Secret Stuff in the Poplin Interview in WomanCake Magazine

As a personal stylist for women, I spend my time highlighting my clients and empowering each one to dress like her authentic self effortlessly everyday. It’s not often that I talk about myself. So, when the powerhouse creator of WomanCake Magazine, an online magazine highlighting women over 40, I was delighted to share my insights on all sorts of things.

Have you seen WomanCake yet?

Not Loving Your Neck? Here's What to Do.

As a personal stylist for women, my conversations with clients go well beyond clothing. Naturally, we often discuss weight fluctuation, shifting identities and aging. Yes! There are a zillion clothing options for you to choose from and of course, flattering your frame has a major impact on how you feel. But the most important filter when choosing an item is whether or not it aligns with your authentic personal style. Does it fee like YOU? Does it feel like the YOU that you want to be, not the one that avoids risk of rejection or embarrassment. We’re talking about the you who wears that leather jacket or those wild shoes. Or perhaps this is the you that feels more comfortable in “menswear” or clothes that feel genderless. Whatever your innermost desire, that’s the you that the world deserves to see.

I’m in my late 40’s and am well aware of the changes in body, skin and hair that women my age are experiencing. Body acceptance is about loving your body where it is right now and finding beauty in it at every age and every size. This is absolutely achievable.

Body acceptance does not mean that you have to embrace changes that you don’t love. After all, we’ve got tools to address this. One of the most common concerns I hear from women over 45 is a sudden awareness of their necks. And not in a good way. When we’re younger, our necks aren’t really a thing and then one day… they are. So, if you’ve suddenly discovered your neck, here are some tips to help you love it again.

What is Adaptive Clothing and Where Can I Buy Cool Adaptive Clothing?

As a personal stylist for women, my role is to really see someone. I’m here to listen to observe and then to create a helpful strategy for her to harness her authentic personal style and simplify her life. This highly personalized process includes a deep dive into her values (would she prefer to support BIPOC makers, female founders, sustainable brands?), her mindset (is she struggling to accept her body as it is now or does she lack confidence in her stylistic choices?) and her lifestyle (what actually works for her day to day?).

I spend a great deal of time listening, researching and sharing my knowledge with individual clients and the Poplin community. Sometimes, information is directly applicable to you, the reader. Other times, it makes more sense for a friend or family member and is worth sharing. And then there are times when the information may not feel applicable, but knowing it changes you in some small way. I’m curious which of these camps you fall into.

Few things are as inspiring to me as watching a woman with power use her voice to make the world better. Sure, you can negotiate world peace in your efforts to improve the planet. But, for many of us, day to day choices have a significant impact on the people around us and the future direction of society. The women who have put their energy into offering truly inclusive clothing are making big changes in the industry and changing the conversation around inclusivity.

In the past few years, inclusivity sparks thinking about brands who offer sizes for every body type. Universal Standard was a front runner in this journey and our culture is forever changed thanks to that brand and other like it. No longer do “straight sizes” end at 14. Many retailers offer pieces up to size 18 or well beyond. That’s real progress.

Amplifying brands with female founders and/or founders of color is another big part of our journey to true inclusivity. Venture Capitalists who fund these brands have propelled them forward. We can also thank shows like Shark Tank that give opportunities to folks who may not otherwise have them and retailers like Nordstrom who started selling lesser known brands and introduced them to a huge consumer base.

Now, it’s time to take our conversation about inclusivity in fashion to another level. Let’s talk about Adaptive Clothing.

A Deep Dive into Vulnerability, Courage and Making New Memories

As a personal stylist for women, I’ve spent years working with individual clients, writing newsletters and blogs spending time with truly extraordinary women. If you’ve been following the blog for some time, you may have never even heard my voice. If that’s the case, now’s the time to hear me on the most recent episode of the Courage Effect.

If you’ve heard me on various platforms, you might be thinking that you’re in the know already. Not this time.

My recent conversation with Suzanne Weller, host of the Courage Effect, is unlike any public conversation I’ve had before. It’s intimate, with me sharing about some very difficult aspects of my upbringing and simultaneously, full of hope, joy and actionable tips for rewiring your brain.

Join Poplin at the YouthCare Luncheon and Work to End Youth Homelessness

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, giving back has been a part of my ethos since, well, forever. With a lifetime of volunteerism, a past career in philanthropy and a strong connection to the community, working to be a part of the solution has always been very important to me. Each of us has the power to make change and even what seem like small efforts add up over time.

As many of you know, Poplin started in 2013 and our partnership with YouthCare started within a few months. Over seven years we held styling workshops for youth experiencing homelessness. These folks were in a job training program in partnership between YouthCare and FareStart in which they learned valuable customer service skills and job training. As a crucial component of this program, each young person also received emotional and practical support as they worked to obtain housing and long term paid employment.

It’s easy to forget the impact that having a safety net can have on someone and the advantages that come from a sense of security and someone taking the time to share with you all the little things you need to know to become a successful member of society. In the clothing realm, that could mean taking you for your first bra, buying you school clothes or teaching you how to tie a necktie. Support also means helping you gain self confidence, learning how to open a bank account or helping you navigate the school system. Most unhoused young people have missed out on all of this and more.

20-40% of homeless youth experience sexual abuse, compared to 1-3% of the general youth population. 60% of houseless youth have experienced physical abuse at home before ending up on the streets. Up to 40% are LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, or Questioning).

Those styling sessions gave me the opportunity to style Trans youth. For many of them, I was the first person they had ever spoken with about the possibility of wearing clothes that were not stereotypically associated with their gender at birth. We talked about how their body shapes would change with hormones and how to dress those changing figures. I measured them for bras and taught them about undergarments, sizing and how to embrace your unique personal style. Thanks to these generous young folks, Poplin evolved into working with Trans clients, which has been life changing for me.

In those early days, my husband volunteered with me. We piled donated clothes, accessories and shoes on top of a table in a conference room. He often taught a handful of youth how to tie a necktie while looking at their reflections in an office window. Back then, we didn’t have mirrors or the incredible “basement boutique” that exists today. Youth changed in the bathrooms and did their reveals in the midst of the hardworking YouthCare staff. At the end of one session during our sharing time, one of the young people thanked him for taking the time and said that no one had ever shown him how to tie a tie before. It clearly meant a lot to him and to both of us.

Homelessness is a devastating problem that can feel completely overwhelming and unsolvable. Over the years, it feels like it just gets worse. And, it’s very difficult to engage with it when we see folks struggling on a very high percentage of our streets. But, without commitment and resilience, we will certainly lose out on a society where everyone has not only shelter, but a home.

YouthCare works with young people ages 12-24. Yup, 12-24 living on the streets in our city. Many of them may not be able to work because they don’t have an ID, something you need a birth certificate to get. They may not choose to go to a shelter for fear of abuse or because they need to be separated from their partner or friends because of gender. How many young people do you know who want to be separated from friends, especially when friends are their only support system?

YouthCare recognizes the complexity of empowering unhoused youth and is up for the challenge. This is why we host a Poplin table at the YouthCare Luncheon and why I’d love for you to join us there. It’s an incredible place to learn more about the problems and more importantly the solutions associated with youth homelessness. It’s a place to hear from young people who have persevered and show us all that if we continue the work, we can make a difference, one young person at a time. (If you are interested, you can also see What I learned from Styling Homeless Youth so many years ago.")

How do I Know What Brands I Should Buy?

As a personal stylist for women, I get lots of questions about style from clients, readers, friends and members of the Poplin community. Recently, someone shared with me her struggles about brands. Here’s her question:

For people like me who have never really paid attention to brands but are now starting to get pricier/nicer clothes, I'm super curious about brand ethos and what it says if I wear that brand.
For example, I was out shopping for a winter coat to replace my beloved Michael Kors one that I got at Costco before I knew anything about the MK brand. Now I'm trying to replace it and wondering what an "Eddie Bauer" logo says about me vs... I don't know, a Kate Spade or a Eileen Fisher or a Canada Goose logo.
I'm starting to learn some brand ethos (Kate Spade is young but classic but colorful! Eddie Bauer is for people who actually go outside, Mark says!) but I have no idea about so many of them, and I'm hesitant to buy anything with any brand identifier in case I accidentally wear something that is not the vibe I want to convey! I envision myself going to a business meeting with the equivalent of JUICY on my butt and not realizing it ha! But so many clothes, especially outerwear, have some kind of identifier.

Excellent question! Fortunately, there are answers. Off we go!

Know You've Got Style? Here's How to Take it to the Next Level

As a personal stylist for women, my job is to help each client ensure that what is on the outside aligns with what is on the inside. At Poplin, we’re all about helping you communicate your authentic personal style, understand what flatters your frame and find makers that align with your values, whenever possible. And we do all this while walking the walk. It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. And, it’s about making every day just a little bit better than the one before, whenever we can. Because when you wear clothes that feel like YOU, you’ll have more self confidence and show up in the world differently. You’ll know who you are and unequivocally understand that what you have to say matters. You’ll know what it likes to feel seen. Feeling good about how you look isn’t an indulgence, it’s a must have.

But what if you already feel great about how you present yourself to the world? What then? Well, I’ve got news for you. It’s time to take your style to the next level.

Earlier this week, I spoke at the Ellevate Network’s Evening of Style at the Armoire Headquarters. It got me thinking about some things I’d love to remind you of, Dear Reader. So, off we go!

The Universally Flattering Cut that Minimizes Your Stomach and Celebrates Your Curves

As a personal stylist for women, I’m all about giving each client concrete tools to help her look and feel her best every day. Her clothes should communicate her authentic personal style and give her confidence. Each piece should flatter her frame and whenever possible, align with her values.

My client, Jane, was ready for a change. It was time to elevate her look and embrace her feminine side in a sophisticated way. After going through a divorce, she was ready to wear clothes that made her feel confident, sexy, edgy and still functional for life with her little one. As a woman in her early 40’s, she opted for pieces that felt appropriate and pretty, but often ended up feeling forgettable. Her closet edit revealed 50’s inspired fit and flare dresses with some bohemian pieces thrown in.

Giving her both the permission and the tools to embrace her feminine side and celebrate her figure transformed the way she showed up at work and in life. In her words,

“Working with you has given me so much confidence. I wore one of the All Saints dresses yesterday to work. OMG. I could have hugged you, I felt so great.”

In the case of this All Saints dress, the secret is ruching.

Must Have: Negative Underwear

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I spend a great deal of my time creating online shopping lists for clients. We call them Uber Wishlists. If you haven’t already seen them, check out some samples from real Poplin clients.

Yes! We create lists that supplement her existing collection and create a cohesive, user friendly and inspiring wardrobe. Fun Fact: We also create Intimates and Loungewear lists. When the weather is cold, those are some of my favorites. The past few months I’ve become completely OBSESSED with Negative Underwear. The pieces are luxurious, super soft and equally sexy. Most of them are sheer! Yes, you can. The colors are spectacular and I’m personally VERY enthusiastic about the Whipped Collection, especially the base layers.

I recently recommended them to my client Isa. At first she was apprehensive because they are an investment. Then her order of a handful of items came and she sent me this text.

OH MY GOD THE NEGATIVE UNDERWEAR…. OMGGGGGGG OBSESSED.

And then she ordered lots more from the company. I had Negative Underwear on my Christmas list and was ELATED when my husband got me a loungewear set. So, it’s only right that I share this magic with you, Dear Reader with a discount code of course. Enjoy!

Connecting with other Women in the New Year

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I spend the vast majority of my time with women. It’s rare. I know. Until I started this business nearly a decade ago, the majority of my friends have always been men. My female friends were typically women who weren’t into clothes or style and predominantly didn’t wear makeup. So, my interest in style often stood out.

Things are very different now. It is a true gift to have met a diverse collection of extraordinary women who continue to be supportive, inspiring and authentic. And while I am grateful for my existing community, I know there are even more like minded women out there. Women that I can learn from, that make my life better just by knowing them AND that also want to make the world a better place.

I’ve had lots of questions about how I find these women. And that, my Dear Reader, is what this post is for. Full disclosure- so many of them are Poplin clients! It’s true. I absolutely adore my clients. Here are some other ways that might help you if you are on the hunt for a similar collection of incredible women. As always, let me know how it goes!

5 Ways to Ensure You Feel as Good as You Look at the Holiday Party

Being a part of a community of driven, kind and philanthropic women is a true gift to me. One of my favorite members of that community is realtor, connector and all around community bad ass, Cassie Walker Johnson. The content below was shared with Cassie’s community first as part of her amazing monthly newsletter. I read it every time, not just because she’s a friend, but because I love the content ranging from trends in the housing market to giving back and tips for the family. Sign up now and be entered to win a gift basket filled with items from her favorite local businesses including a $50 gift card to my ideal retailers for sustainable hosiery, Swedish Stockings. And hey, have fun at that holiday party!

As a personal stylist for women, I spend a great deal of timing helping each client ensure that her overall look not only communicates her authentic personal style, flatters her shape and reflects her values; but also that her pieces are functional for her life. Here in Seattle, it’s easy to sacrifice style for comfort, but that’s really not necessary.

If it’s time to shop for your upcoming holiday party, be sure to opt for pieces that flatter your frame and communicate your style. Now, let’s dive into how we’ll make sure you are comfortable, too.

15 Holiday Gifts You've Never Thought Of

I like the idea that COVID won’t permeate every aspect of our lives, especially when it comes to the holiday season. Based on conversations with clients and friends, it’s clear that trying to find the ideal gift often also means considering how that relates to our current very strange state of being. As a personal stylist for women, I often tell people that my job is to “see” people. When I meet a new client, I listen to her and try to see what she sees as her aspirational style. Then, using her budget, body type, lifestyle and personal style, I translate that into a strategy to help her embrace her authentic personal style. Uber Wishlists are a solid representation of how I translate her words into actual items. This, my Dear Reader, is essentially spending 8 years of my professional life gifting.

The Top 20 Obstacles to Great Style and How to Overcome Each One

As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I’ve spent nearly a decade listening to women talk about their struggles with style. These are among the most common challenges I hear from women. What resonates with you?

Identifying your problem is only the first step. Rest assured, there are solutions. As a Poplin client, we take a deep dive into creating a strategy and providing tools to solve your problem on an ongoing basis. For now, here are some approaches you can take right now. Looking for even more perspective? Most also have a client testimonial that is applicable. Enjoy the resources available and as always, let me know how it goes. I always love to hear from you.

The Top 20 Obstacles to Great Style and How to Solve Each One

Hack Her Style: Client #4: Taylor