Guest Post: Why Hire a Sex and Embodiment Coach?
As a personal stylist for women based in Seattle, I like to think of the Poplin newsletter and blog as a resource that brings surprise and delight to your inbox every other Friday. Yes! There are all sorts of style tips. And there is so much more. For folks who subscribe to the newsletter, I include my favorite things from articles to books, products, TV shows and more. My goal is for the Poplin newsletter to be a feel good experience jam packed with useful information in this world that often feels filled with dark perspectives. I especially appreciate connecting with you, hearing feedback and shouting from the rooftops when I have exciting finds to share.
Because of this, it’s very rare that we feature guest posts on the Poplin blog.
But an insanely inspirational acquaintance of mine introduced me to Cass, a Sex and Embodiment Coach. Honestly, I had no idea that this was even a thing. Sure, I am familiar with Sex and Dating Coaches (which can be super helpful to folks), but a coach specifically focused on the individual’s connection with their own sexuality, loving and accepting their body at all sizes? I had no idea.
Then I met Cass. I’m not going to lie, I’m very private about all things sex-related. But, ever since our son was born, almost 13 years ago, I’m also very aware that it’s important to have open conversations about sex, sexuality and our bodies. As a personal stylist, I am fortunate to have women confide in me about how they view themselves and over the years I’ve been amazed by the self talk women developed that can be traced directly back to an older woman’s feedback about her body as well as what she “can and cannot wear”. Understanding that comments by a mother or an aunt or a friend to a 14 year old girl can still drive the way she perceives herself in her 40’s make me very committed to paying attention to my own language with my son, my clients and myself.
Enter Cass. She brings a fresh perspective to something I had thought about, but not like this. So, I hope you enjoy hearing from her and as always, please let me know how the Poplin community can better serve you on this journey to love and accept your body and understand that changing your clothes can be just as powerful than changing your body. Enjoy!
-Mellicia
Why hire a sex & embodiment coach?
The simple answer is to have more satisfying sex…but that is the tip of the iceberg. Sexuality is an elaborate intersection of animal instinct, social conditioning, self-expression, and emotional connection. It mirrors our belief systems around our intrinsic value, ability, and capacity. Anyone wanting to create a deeper connection with themselves, their body, and intimate partners can benefit from sex coaching. Feeling alive in your sexual energy generates radiance and wellness.
Our desire for sex is completely natural, but knowing how to engage in sexual experiences skillfully and intentionally is learned. Most of us grow up with little, if any, qualified education around sex. Subsequently, we develop patterns within our sexual encounters (self-pleasure or partnered sex) that may or may not be supporting the level of gratification we desire. We can lose interest in sex or feel unfulfilled. This results in many people missing out on the fullness of who they truly are sexually.
While Sex Coaching focuses on the arena of sexual expression, the benefits will ripple throughout your entire life. When you feel uncomfortable, ashamed or cannot easily identify or communicate your desires it may affect your ability connect with others.
To really get to the core of what you want and create lasting changes in your relationship to sexuality, there is often a need for deeper, more nuanced exploration. Embarking on this journey is much more efficient with an experienced coach on your side.
Sex and embodiment coaching can be helpful for women who struggle with:
Body image, feeling self-conscious or disconnected from your body
Lack of self-love and self-acceptance
Disinterest in sex or not feeling sexy
Low energy and burnout
Stress and anxiety
Disconnection from desires and intuition
Lack of confidence and feeling powerless
Some of the key benefits include feeling more energetically vibrant, turned on in your life, loving yourself and your own amazing body. In addition to more expanded states of pleasure and more gratifying sexual experiences, with or without a partner.
Sensations and emotions are messages from our instinctive selves, deepening the connection between your body and mind activates your ability to communicate with yourself in an entirely new way. This connection is the key to rewiring patterns and beliefs you hold about your value, ability, and capacity.
To create lasting change, we must descend beneath the conscious mind. Connecting with your subconscious opens the doorway to wisdom beyond thought, the wisdom of your body. It’s here — in the wholeness of an embodied approach — that you gain access to an unparalleled depth of transformation.
The methodology uses meditation, breath work, movement, and pleasure practices to help you become more grounded in your body as well develop a greater sense of self-confidence, self-expression, and creativity.
The process of inviting this new way of being into your body takes time and intention. Just like working out, the transformation builds and reshapes your sense of self. You will feel your sensations in a heightened way, you will attune to the subtleties of your nervous system and have greater awareness of your power. There is a confidence that comes with embodiment, you radiate unapologetic authenticity. Your light shines brighter as you become more turned on in your life. Here are some simple ways to begin to cultivate a deeper connection with your body.
My favorite way to begin an embodiment practice is to put on some sexy music and do an erotic dance. Allow your body to move in an intuitive way. Shake your booty and swing your hips. Touch your body as you dance and feel into your sexual self. This is an opportunity to love your body and listen to the way it wants to move. Have fun with it, crawl across the floor or lock eyes with yourself in a mirror while you invite the energy of arousal.
Another practice is to lie down in a place where you have some privacy and tune into your sensations. As you notice them, speak them out loud. This could sound like… ‘I feel my body supported by the bed, my toes feel a bit cold, there is a slight fluttering in my belly, I can feel my breath going in and out of my nose’. You can also speak aloud any emotions that are arising. Just begin to notice, in a nuanced way, what is happening in the present moment and get as detailed as possible. The intention of this practice is to open the pathway of communication as you notice your body and sensations with deep presence. Connecting with your sensual and sexual self builds confidence and power. Attunement with your body activates your inner guidance. Surrendering to the wisdom of your body and listening to your inner guidance will reveal your authentic desires both inside and outside the bedroom. Coming home to your body is incredibly healing and grounding.
Cass Estes is a Sex and Embodiment Coach. You can find more about Cass and her services at Cassestes.com
I’d like to introduce myself, my name is Cass. I am passionate about women standing in their power and owning their pleasure. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the plot twists that have brought me to this moment. Sex coach? I would have laughed at the thought. Rumblings of change became noticeable a few years before Covid. The dysfunctional patterns that had become the well-worn grooves of my life, a classic recipe for mid-life crisis. I was burning out at work, chronically tired, in addition to doing more than my share of the parenting and housework. My partner and I were living more like roommates, the sex was infrequent and uninspiring. I was trying so hard, harder than I had ever tried, to make all of it work. I sacrificed myself, on a daily basis, to hold the pieces together of a life that was wearing me down to the bone.
Before I began my VITA coaching certification, I didn’t really understand embodiment. The mind thinks, but the body knows, and holy cow does it know. The journey into my sensations, pleasure and animal self was nothing short of an energetic awakening. A portal to another reality, like going from black and white to color. The upleveling of my sensations was like tuning into a new frequency, at first it was subtle, but as my awareness grew the volume kept getting louder. I was infinitely more aware of the state of my nervous system and my intuition. As a result of this journey, my cup is consistently full because I’ve learned how to fill it up myself. Pleasure is at the top of the list instead of the bottom and I have given myself permission to say yes. This work has changed my life in a profound way, and I am deeply grateful to share what I have learned through my coaching practice. I would love to connect and talk about what thriving looks like for you. You can reach me through my website or send me an email hello@cassestes.com.
Come on In!
Holy crow there are a lot of benefits to being a member of the Poplin community. You’ll receive my Top 100 Favorite Retailers Organized by Personal Style AND the Wildly Popular Six Weeks of Style Tips. Poplin email subscribers also get the newsletter directly to their inboxes every other Friday PLUS all sorts of bonus content that is not published on the blog. Sign up! We won’t spam you or share your info with anyone else. Already on the list? Share Poplin with a friend who’d love this content, too!